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Hello Beautiful Souls!
This is Lauren from HealingforEatingdisorders.com.
Thank you for being here today I’m so excited I just got off one of our group coaching calls for my group program 9 Steps to Freedom and I am feeling so inspired and so lit up inside that I just wanted to share some of the wisdom that we talked about today!
We have this group coaching call once a month for this group and it has just been so enlightening and helpful for these ladies who come to me with what they’re going through. We’ve been doing the webinars and today we got on the phone and I wanted to make a video about it and share some of the things we were talking about today. I know that it would be helpful for you as well and where you’re at on your journey.
So a lot of what was coming up for these ladies today: we were talking about embracing who you are, loving yourself, being content with who you are, accepting the way that you look, because a lot of times when we are working on recovery were thinking about letting go of the eating disorder but there’s such a strong part of us that says this is who I am.
We say this eating disorder gave me a purpose, it is my identity and who I am.
And so we have to kind of be aware of that, that we are letting go of a part of ourselves and for most of us part of our life. A lot of times this is taking up all of our time, all of our energy is put into maintaining the eating disorder, and so it can be really scary and the fears are natural that come up when you’re working on letting go of the eating disorder.
So know that that what you’re going through in being afraid of letting go and not being sure of who you are, know that that’s all very common — I felt the exact same way — I didn’t know who I was — it was like embarking on uncharted territory and stepping into the unknown because I didn’t know who I was [without it]. It becomes this great journey of self discovery if you can let it be in your recovery and you can grow by leaps and bounds if you can look at it like: I’m learning the lessons and growing on this journey that your’e on in your Recovery.
So, we were talking today about being content with who you are, letting go of the eating disorder and I wanted to do this video and share with you 4 tips to embrace who you are and let go of the eating disorder. So I’m going to make this video short and sweet, so here is the first tip:
#1) Recognize that the voice that says “You are not enough, you need me, I give you purpose, I give you meaning.” Recognize that voice, as the eating disorder, and know that it is NOT YOU.
A lot of times we identify with that voice so much, in thinking that we need the eating disorder. It has been such a large part of our identity that it helps us manage our daily lives dysfunctionally. It is a part of our life and so we identify with that voice. And I find that as we move into recovery it can be very very helpful to recognize those voices that say “you’re not deserving of this, you need me, you’re going to be nothing without me, you are not enough without me. This makes you special, you’re going to be messy if you don’t have me,” the eating disorder keeps me neat, and orderly and in control.
And so notice that voice that says all those things to you, that’s really just coming from the eating disorder. That voice is not you. And if you can accept that and kind of identify with that, at the same time working toward your goals and what it is you do want, you know:
‘I want to accept the way I look, I want to be comfortable with who I am, I want to be myself, whoever that may be.’
And so you can go on this journey of exploring your true authentic self and what that means for you. So #1 to be aware of that, and there are lots of exercises that you can do and if you’re in my programs I’ll teach you, and I have other videos that go over that. Just be aware of that voice, journaling about it, and recognizing that you know what “that’s not me” and dis-identifying with that voice as much as you can. That steps us into:
#2) You want to shift your self talk.
So after you’re dis-identifying with this voice you want to shift your self talk to affirming those parts of you that you do like, you know the parts of you that are stronger.
So you can say to yourself, a great exercise you can do is to do an I AM exercise. You can do this written or in the mirror. You can say to yourself I AM______ and then fill in the blank.
This is to affirm to yourself who you are already. You know bc I think we have all these crazy thoughts like “I am the eating disorder” but if you really look within yourself and you ask yourself “Who Am I?” and you can start to say, “I am an artist, I am creative, I am loving, I am understanding.” You know you can take it to many different levels.
You can say what you actually are, I am a mother, I am a wife, I am a sister, I’m a daughter, I’m a friend. But you can also go into traits and say “I am confident, I am courageous, I’m facing my fears, I am intuitive, I am ..” whatever it is that you are, whatever you feel it is. A lot of women will just say “I am liked, I am love.” Because at our core essence that is who we really are.
The eating disorder shell around you will kind of say “You are not these things, you need me, you need to be in control, you are disgusting, you’re ugly, you’re not enough, you’re not deserving, you’re unloveable.”
Recognize that those voices are not you and then shift your self talk.
You know, start to tell yourself the things that you ARE. The easiest thing to do is to start doing affirmations, to start doing mirror work, to start to tell yourself “I am worthy of love” you see there’s another I am.
“I am deserving of the best that life has to offer, I deserve Recovery,” whatever it is that you can do to shift your self talk and those parts of you like.
And also affirm those parts of you that you might not feel lovable or loving but you can say “I am lovable and loving” bc these are affirmations by the Law of Attraction, what you focus on expands, so when you’re telling yourself “I am lovable, I am worthy, I am deserving” you will attract to you those other thoughts and circumstances and people that will affirm that within you.
Once you get in the habit of thinking this way, it will become natural and normal for you to start shifting your self talk, to start loving yourself and treating yourself well with your thoughts. And also too remember that you have to take action as well, it’s not just changing your thinking we have to take action also.
#1 is recognize that that voice is not you.
#2 is shifting your self talk to affirm those parts of you that you do like, or you want to become like. That’s what affirmations are all about.
#3 is really important. And this might be one of the hardest things.
A lot of us are people pleasers, we are very self conscious about ourselves and so,
#3 is to let go of what other people think of you, and focus your attention INWARD.
It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you, as long as you are Happy. And that’s what this journey is all about. Starting to focus on what you want and what is going to make you HAPPY.
Letting go of what other people think might be hard to do, so it’s easier to start focusing on you and say “what’s going to fill me up, what’s going to make me happy?” and to really only start to measure yourself by the way that you feel, rather than the way that you look.
And then #4 is the last tip I have for you which is to Embrace who you are and start to let go of the eating disorder is simply to just do the things that scare the hell out of you!!!
You know, we were talking today about how this woman I was talking to on the phone, she was very fearful of being out in public and afraid of what other people were going to think about her.
You know, her skinny arms or being underweight as she’s working on gaining weight in her recovery. And so the scariest thing for her would be to go out in public and wear a top like this, a sleeveless top, or wearing truly what she wants to wear.
She said “I can’t wear what I want to wear bc I’m always scared and I want to cover myself up and I just want to be who I am and I want to feel comfortable with who i am,” and that scares her to do that.
And I said to her “You know, the things that we are scared of the most, are typically the things we need to do. And they’re also the ones that will provide you with the most amount of growth.”
This is the way that I live my life, I will always do the things that scare the living daylights out of me. Its like on my to do list, that on the very top of my list i’m always doing things that challenge myself and grow past my comfort zone and so you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, in things that you want to do even if its scares the Hell out of you, okay? 🙂
As long as you know that it’s for your highest good, I wouldn’t say put yourself in a situation that is dangerous or that is not for your highest good, you always want to say “If this is for my highest good, is this going to fill me up, is this a loving gesture for my self?”
If you’re intuition is telling you, ‘this is what you need to do’ or ‘this is the only way that you need to take action to get unstuck’ thats a really good indication that that is exactly what you need to do.
So those are just 4 tips for you that you can start o apply in your life to embrace who you are and start to let go of the eating disorder.
If you have any question for me about any of these tips that I left you in this video, please email us at support (at) healingforeatingdisorders (dot) com.
If you want to go deeper and learn more of the tips and tricks and exercises and tools and processes that I use with my clients feel free to reach out to me, setup a free session with me, I offer a free 30 minute discovery session, or you can wait until the next group program opens, that’s always such a wonderful way to get connected with others, (sorry that was a bug), and to learn the tools that you need to move forward in your recovery and in your life.
So you can reach out to my AMAZING Assistant and Tech Goddess Blake at:
support (at) healingforeatingdisorders (dot) com.
But other than that thank you so much for being here, thank you for watching the video, I love you all, make sure to stay on the path today, take that next baby step and write down, take notes, listen to this video a couple times and really allow it to sink in and ask yourself:
“How can I apply these tips into my daily life?”
So let me know how it goes, leave a comment below, make sure to subscribe to my videos and I’ll see you next time! God Bless <3.