Did you know that every action in recovery is an act of self-love for yourself?  It’s no wonder then that most women stay trapped in their eating disorders, because they don’t love themselves!  For me personally, I hated myself with a passion for most of my life.  I was stuck in that vicious cycle of eating disorder behaviors and it would always leave me trapped feeling guilty, ashamed, anxious and overwhelmed.  I never felt like I would escape it!

 

“I can’t love myself,” I would think to myself, “Look at what an awful person I am.”  I didn’t trust myself, I didn’t like myself and I certainly wasn’t acceptable enough to be loved, especially by myself.  Every time I would get “into recovery” it would never last, I would self-sabotage and find myself right back doing the very thing I swear I would not do.  It wasn’t until I started to love myself and became friends with myself that I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

So do YOU love yourself?  I like to ask this question when I start working with someone and the answer is always an honest and wholehearted NO!!!  But everyone WANTS to love themselves or at least knows that it would feel good to do so, but it feels elusive or you might just not know how to do it.  

I like to view loving yourself on a continuum that goes from “hating yourself with a passion” to “loving yourself unconditionally.”  So where do you fit in there?  Some women hate themselves, others dislike themselves and some women are okay with themselves or even like themselves, they are just not loving themselves wholly and completely yet.  And that’s okay!

 

Wherever you are on the continuum is exactly where you are supposed to get started learning how to love yourself.  For some it will take longer than others.  For others a huge part of recovery is getting to a place where you even WANT to recover, and getting to a place where you feel like you even WANT to love yourself.  Again, that’s all okay!  Learning how to love yourself, treat yourself well and become your own best friend takes time, patience, and a bit (okay, a lot) of conscious effort.  But rarely have I ever seen anyone *truly* recover that has not found an inkling of love for themselves.

 

So how do you get started loving yourself?

• First of all, start telling yourself it!  “I deeply and completely love and accept myself exactly as I am.”  Post this affirmation on your mirror in your bathroom, on a note card in your pocket, or on your screensaver on your computer.  Anywhere you will see and read it to yourself often.  When the ED voices start popping into your mind, “I am so disgusting, I am not good enough, I am so fat,” take a deep breath and remind yourself that you can simply choose to let go of those thoughts.  They are not you unless you choose to identify with them!  You can repeat the above affirmation or engage in another recovery activity until the negative thought/feeling passes.

• Start becoming aware of the thoughts in your head and write them down…ask yourself,  “why do I feel so negatively about myself, why do I believe these awful things about myself, why do I never feel good enough?”  Make a list titled: “What I Believe About Myself” and write down whatever comes to mind.  These are your limiting beliefs and they are called that because they are limiting your potential to grow and are blocking you from fully recovering and gaining true freedom from the ED!

When I started to really examine the limiting beliefs inside my head, I started to realize that none of them were true for me anymore.  I had simply learned them and picked them up along the way.  I decided that I wanted to think new thoughts and those included thoughts of loving myself and being kinder to myself.  I finally became open to thinking new thoughts, but that’s only because I saw how damaging and harmful my old thought patterns were.

“The only diet that does work is a mental diet – dieting from negative thoughts.”

~Louise L. Hay

Changing your thoughts can truly change your life, but first you must examine and understand what the limiting beliefs are before you can go in and make those changes.  You are the power in your own mind and your brain is a tool you can use in any way you choose!  Those thoughts of doubt, lack and failure are NOT YOU, and you are not the eating disorder thoughts either.

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”

~Willie Nelson

So think about this today, beautiful soul.

How can you start to shift your mind to be open to loving yourself?

What acts of self-love can you take today that will get you one step closer to where you want to be in your recovery?

For more exercises and self love quotes visit: 5 Minutes to Love Your Self