I’ve been contemplating recently making some huge changes in my life coming up, and now that I have made a decision comes the time to [gulp]… take massive action towards it!!
I find myself feeling a bit scared, excited, thrilled and petrified all at the same time, or oscillating through this range of emotions.
I could NOT do it because of the fear.
OR I could feel the fear and do it anyways.
One way that I’ve learned to get around the fear is to think about what would happen if I DIDN’T do it?
Well then, that changes it. I think about the consequences and repercussions of NOT taking that leap of faith, and the truth is that actually scares me more!
But even in that space, I recognize that my brain wants to FEEL READY before it takes action.
If I would ‘buy into’ the mind’s need to predict, control and want to have everything ‘figured out’ before getting started– well, I would never be where I am right now.
Because the truth is that you’re never going to be 100% ready and that means every moment is the right time. If you want it, you just have to do it.
What are you waiting for, beautiful soul?
Are you waiting for the time to be exactly right for you to take action on your dreams, on recovery?
What is it that you really want in your life?
I remember for so long in my life I was literally just waiting for things to happen to me.
Waiting for the day when I would just wake up one day and everything would be easy.
I would just effortlessly manifest my desires, just like that!
I would wake up and be fucking grateful and ecstatically happy every single day!
I would look in the mirror and LOVE what I saw! I would finally have the body of my dreams— or the body that “they” sold me— in magazines, on TV, that’s blasted all over Instagram and Facebook and social media, and that it would just magically happen.
THEN I would know I was finally good enough! And perfect enough!
I would then be in the relationship with the man of my dreams who of course would have just found me (because then I was finally GOOD ENOUGH) and swept me off my feet, and he would of course be rich and famous and we would have this amazing dream life and live in my dream home!
We would have the perfect family, living the perfect life, in the perfect place in the perfect way.
Oh! I can’t forget that I would also be living my dream career, with my dream clients, doing whatever the fuck I wanted to do and living blissfully ever after.
Then I would have finally “arrived” and everything would be PERFECT.
What. The. Fuck. Was I thinking?!
I was a bit delusional back then when I thought I would just wake up and everything would be handed to me.
In fact, I felt a bit ENTITLED to this stuff!
I mean, isn’t that the American Dream?
In fact, even in just imagining that this is the way it was “supposed” to be— made me extremely depressed.
The fact that I ’needed more’ to be good enough, that I had to look a certain way, that I needed to have more and do more to be good enough, to prove myself, to be worthy of it.
I don’t want to have to DO MORE or HAVE MORE or FIT IN to society’s standard to finally become good enough.
Truth is, I thought there was something wrong with me for those things not coming easy to me.
I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t hold a job for more than 6-8 months at a time. I had “good” corporate “acceptable-you-are-successful-now” kind of jobs and didn’t understand why I didn’t feel successful and good enough.
I couldn’t understand why I didn’t ‘fit’ into society— why did I feel like an outcast? Why did I feel different than everyone else? Why did I feel like I was alone and like I didn’t fit in?
I accepted that there was “one way” to do things, and that I needed to fit into that mold.
What I found was that this is utterly untrue, and by following this mold it proved to be very detrimental to my health and well-being.
I was waiting for something to just happen to me, I was waiting for my dreams to come true.
I thought that “when” those things just “happened”, THEN I would be HAPPY.
HOLY FUCK THIS IS THE BIGGEST LIE EVER!!!
Truth is, I was just COMFORTABLE.
I was doing just enough to GET BY.
I wasn’t challenging myself.
I wasn’t engaging in things that were exciting or even remotely pleasant to me.
I was just WAITING.
Waiting for my life to happen.
And in that waiting and wishing and hoping, I felt a large sense of distraction.
I felt this huge void inside of me.
I didn’t know what it was, and I was terrified of it.
I used whatever I could to fill the void.
As I was waiting for my life to just HAPPEN TO ME, I distracted myself with everything I could that would give me some sense of HAPPINESS at the time, even if it was false and fleeting…
Binging and purging my brains out…
Numbing myself out with an overabundance of food and the subsequent restriction and starvation became a powerful distraction.
Getting the high I desperately needed through food, weight loss, exercise, drugs, and toxic relationships…
It was not the way I was WANTING to live, but it was the way it was for a long time.
I just expected things to be different one day.
If I could just find the ANSWER!!! I spend many many years searching and seeking the answer to what would fill the void for me.
What I found was that NOTHING could fill the void when I wasn’t actually living into my dreams.
What I found was that NOTHING would just happen to me if I just sat around WAITING for things to change.
What I found was that I was largely dissatisfied with my life, and that living the “standard” life, doing the “normal” thing, also wasn’t going to work for me!
I was different and unique, and what I realized was that I needed to follow my own path!
Even if that path wasn’t “acceptable” or “perfect” to others.
I faced a lot of resistance along the way, as we are likely to do when we challenge the status quo.
But you know what?
One day I just stopped waiting for life to just happen to me.
I realized that if I wanted to change my life, that it was up to ME.
That there wasn’t going to be a “right” time and that I would never feel quite READY.
That the change came from within.
Changes ALWAYS start from within.
If I really wanted a life that I was HAPPY with, one that fulfilled me from within and that I didn’t need to keep searching for things to fill the void, then I really needed to start NOW!
I didn’t feel ready.
Truth be told, I STILL don’t feel ready.
Most days I would rather just stop and be comfortable again. Do what’s easy, ya know?
It WOULD be easier — but I would not be happier.
In fact, what I would call “easy” is really more like “indifferent.”
It’s sitting back and letting life pass you by. Being comfortable with what is, when inside you have a KNOWING that there is more to life and you’re not quite living up to your potential.
Now let’s not confuse this with inner peace. There is a difference between someone who is in acceptance and has an inner peace inside than someone who is comfortable, staying in their comfort zone and not taking risks in life.
The latter tend to have more anxiety, overwhelm and fear, where the former usually have the inner peace and acceptance as a result of going after their dreams, challenging themselves and being in alignment with their values and purpose.
Which would you prefer?
I realized that I would rather take a chance, take a risk and take a leap of faith.
I couldn’t live with the amount of fear and anxiety that I had inside of me ANY LONGER. It was KILLING me, literally and figuratively.
I realized that I HAD to follow my gut, my inner intuitive knowings that there had to be another way to live life.
I was playing a victim and I didn’t realize how much I was blaming others for me not having what I ultimately wanted.
I would say it was a decision that I made all at once, that also happened slowly over time as I began to peel back all the layers of who I used to be, who I thought I needed to be in order to be accepted, liked and approved of.
I still remember the day when I decided I would change. That I wanted something different for my life.
I decided that I would no longer seek approval from others, I would no longer attempt to find ways to fill the void, but rather to follow my heart and discover what truly made life worth living.
I wanted to discover the richness within and fall in love with myself and my life.
I made that decision in an instant, and it has transformed my life again and again.
That doesn’t mean that things are always easy. This is the road less traveled yes, but it isn’t without it’s challenges.
In the beginning it was learning to live without the crutch of the eating disorder.
I had to learn how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
To sit with myself and learn how to feel my feelings, to learn how to show up for myself and support myself every step of the journey.
I wanted to become my own best friend rather than seek outside myself for love to fill me up. I wanted to be whole and complete in myself.
This was uncomfortable!! And scary as hell!! And I have to say, I definitely did NOT feel ready to do this at the time.
But I fucking made a decision to change, and DAMMIT I would do whatever it took!! I had lived enough of my life in FEAR, in INDECISION and INDIFFERENCE.
I was WAITING for things to happen to me, when in fact there was NOTHING that was going to happen unless it was a result of me TAKING ACTION on it.
It’s not rocket science. There’s also nothing glamorous about it either. It’s a very simple formula and most people want to complicate it and make it into this big fucking deal.
You either want it, or you don’t.
There is no other way.
You either take action, wake up and live your life on PURPOSE, or you don’t.
You sit around waiting for shit to happen.
It’s going to be hard.
Even for me, some days are so difficult that I don’t want to take action and
I want to crawl in my bed and hide under the covers for the day.
Admittedly, sometimes I actually do! When that happens, I give myself grace and be gentle and easy on myself for it. I am NOT perfect, and the art and science of TAKING ACTION on your dreams is also not perfect.
I am not a robot, and I don’t wake up every morning just automated and doing everything that is in alignment with my goals every hour of every day (not yet at least 😉 !!!)
I still face my human shit.
I still have to deal with my emotions that come up around it.
I still face hardcore resistance sometimes to doing those things that are difficult and downright scary to do.
Even when I know it is what is in alignment for me, even when it is something I want to do. I still have emotions and thoughts that come up and get in the way.
When they do, I deal with them in a way that is healthy, loving and productive, and move along my way.
However this is more of the exception that the norm. The only way that I got here is by staying COMMITTED to the journey and taking action EVEN WHEN I DIDN’T FEEL LIKE IT.
Sometimes the most effective way to let go of the resistance is to just get into ACTION!
And that is my call to you today— what are you putting off? What are you waiting to happen that likely never will if you don’t get into action on it?
You don’t need to have everything figured out. You don’t even have to know HOW.
All you have to do is know where you’re going and what you want, and take action on what that is, today!
If you want to stop binging and purging, restricting, overexercising, or any dysfunctional negative addictive pattern, STOP putting it off until tomorrow. I know from personal experience that tomorrow never comes!
Do what you need to do TODAY to take care of yourself.
Whether that is to reach out for support, talk to your treatment team or therapist, or make a commitment to yourself and a support person that NOW is the time. There is no better time then RIGHT NOW to do it!!
All we have is RIGHT NOW.
There is no tomorrow.
Your life happens NOW.
NOTHING is going to change without you doing it.
You are NEVER going to feel ready.
But if you want things to be different, if you want to stop waiting, and you want to pursue your own path in life, NOW is the time!!
I know your mind is tricking you and telling you all the reasons why you just can’t start today. But the truth is, you CAN.
You can choose to do it differently at any time.
Know that the resistance and the eating disorder voice and all the negative emotions WILL come up.
And when they do, it is up to you to keep your eye on the outcome of what you want— to break FREE and create a life you LOVE.
The only way to get there is to start NOW.
What are you waiting for, beautiful soul?
The time is NOW.
THIS is the way towards FREEDOM!!
Sending SOOOO much love and healing energy your way, beautiful soul!!
In light + love,
P.S. Want a way to get MASSIVE INTO ACTION?
Now’s the Time! Journal Your Way to ACTION: A 14 Day Journaling Course launches in one week!!
This course is for you if you’re having trouble taking action, if it feels easier to just “do” the eating disorder, and if you’re scared of letting it go!
In these 14 days we are going to dive deep and explore what is actually underneath your inaction and bring it to the surface so you can then let it go and take action on what it is that you REALLY WANT– which is to be in alignment, on purpose, and doing those things that fulfill you on a deeper level and actually SUCCEEDING at recovery.
We will look at and explore what would need to happen in order for you to begin to take action towards your dreams!!
And of course, then you can take action on what feels good to you!
I’d love to help you light a fire under your .. you know what!!
I know that I used to logically ‘know’ what to do– and I would have such a hard time actually ‘doing’ it.
I find that to be true for so many women in recovery and I can imagine for you as well…
I know what it’s like to wake up every day, day in and day out telling myself “today is going to be different…” and then yet I would fall into my old pattern again and again, inevitably feeling worse about myself AND destroying any sense of trust in myself, even the little bit I had back then would be crushed every time.
I remember how powerless I used to feel. I felt out of control, like I was broken and in need of being ‘fixed.’
I didn’t know what to do– until I discovered the power of journaling.
It really didn’t change much right away– in fact it felt like it was actually getting worse– because in the beginning it felt really BAD to bring up to my conscious awareness everything I had been DENYING to myself all along.
I was denying how bad I was, how out of control I was, and how much of a problem my eating disorder thoughts and behaviors actually were.
But once I started going and began to do my journaling work consistently, things began to change.
I began to have a deeper understanding of myself, I developed compassion and acceptance for myself and where I was in the process.
This brought so much MORE action, and just kept building on the momentum.
It was NOT perfect, but I just kept going and kept exploring what was coming up for me, and what was BLOCKING me from taking action.
I also noticed this internal pattern of SELF SABOTAGE coming up, which was also something I had noticed to be a block for me in taking action– or even if I HAD taken action, it would come up in response to my POSITIVE ACTION to almost ‘undo’ it with a negative dysfunctional one.
This is completely normal and if you relate to this, then you’re going to LOVE this new course!!
I am going to teach you EXACTLY what I did to combat that resistance and take massive action in my recovery… the exact steps I took to get myself to a place of full recovery, peace with food and my body, to help me to fall in love with myself and become my true authentic self in that process.
We will dive deep and I will reveal to you every step that I took in order to take action and work on busting through those blocks that come up in recovery that used to stop you dead in your tracks.
I am SUPER EXCITED to share this powerful information with you.
It is for you if you are just starting out recovery, and don’t know what to do to take action, or you feel confused and paralyzed by inaction.
It is for you if you have been in recovery for a little bit but feel super hopeless and frustrated with yourself that you can’t seem to do what you plan and want to do.
It is for you if you have been in recovery for a long time, or feel like you’ve plateaued and you just don’t know what to do to get unstuck and get moving again.
You can do this course in a simple 20 minutes a day, delivered directly to your inbox every morning for 14 days, starting on Monday June 26!!!
If you’re ready to dive deep and explore what could be blocking you and move through it with grace, determination and compassion for yourself, then Now’s the Time! Journal Your Way to ACTION: A 14 Day Journaling Course is for you!!!
Leave a comment below with your email or send a quick message to firstname.lastname@example.org if you’re interested in joining and we’ll send you all the details!!!
I can’t wait!!!