I have SO much to share with you. SO much has happened. SO much shit has come up for me, yet so much growth has come out of it.
I want to tell you a story…
It’s been a while since I’ve shared authentically with you.
Can I be honest?
The past six months for me have felt like a WILD roller coaster ride. As you know, in July last year I took a major LEAP OF FAITH and moved half way across the country to pursue my dreams and move my children and I to California.
It was probably the BEST decision I have EVER made but with every major change in life, this just happened to be the CATALYST for a major BREAKDOWN in my life.
I had to LET GO of WHO I WAS in order to step into the WOMAN I AM MEANT TO BECOME.
I had to EVOLVE into a higher level of consciousness in order to PLAY BIGGER in my life, my relationships and in my business.
There were so many days where all I was focusing on was just the here and now. It has felt like
I have been hanging on by a thread some days, with all the balls up in the air and not sure if I am going to drop one or all of them.
It has been a wild fucking ride, and I have grown SO MUCH.
A few months ago I realized how much of these parts of my journey I have been hiding. Not showing up. Not wanting to share authentically of my journey, my growth, my transformation with you. Until now!!
It may be because it felt as though it was unacceptable for me to be experiencing what I was experiencing.
As far along as I get in my life, and as much as I have grown, it humbles me to know there is still so much further along to go.
The journey of growth, of awakening and empowerment is a life long quest; it is not something that is a one-and-done, or a quick-fix, and in fact it is dangerous if we believe that to be so.
But rather it is a journey, an evolution along our path of whatever it is that we need to learn at that time.
The past year has been the next “level up” in my evolution, and I didn’t even realize it until now. Until I’ve come out the other side, bloodied and bruised, lessons in hand, ready to pass on to the next ones in line, to you brave and courageous warriors who are ready to accept this mission.
I have been on this growth path for many years, specifically it was 10+ years ago that I began working on myself, 7 years ago that I recovered fully from my ED and 6 years ago that I started this business.
From the very beginning, I had set my goals for what I wanted: My goal was to be a stay-at-home-mom running my own 6 figure lifestyle business, where I could make my own schedule and be my own boss while also being able to raise my children the way I want to.
I wanted to live in California, and I wanted to be in love with an amazing man, in a fulfilling relationship that would allow me to grow and serve as a powerful example to my children growing up.
I wanted a happy family, to live abundantly pursuing my purpose and passion, to be healthy, happy, wealthy and wise surrounded by a supportive and loving community connected to conscious entrepreneurs and close friends.
With these goals came lofty ambitions. I set these goals EVERY year for myself. FINALLY it would be the year when they came true. And every year I would take steps towards creating and manifesting those results in my life.
Things have changed dramatically since becoming a conscious co-creator of my own life.
In the last six years I have moved seven different times in three different states. I divorced the father of my two children, endured the spiritual turmoil associated with loss after being together with him for 7 years. I came to the sobering truth and faced much anger, sorrow and sadness of what that meant for my family moving forward as a single mom and sole provider for my two little children.
I also majorly had to work on my abundance and money mindset, I learned SO much about leading women, running a heart-centered business and coaching practice, about perseverance, doing the work and showing up no matter what.
At one point a few years ago I even had to go back to work to fund my business and was working 12-14 hour days so that I could get to the point where I could build my business and serve you all from a place of abundance, not scarcity or lack. I got a “real” job and built my coaching business on the side so that I could show up and serve my clients from a place of love and service, never from a place of needing to ‘get’ anything from that— but rather from a genuine desire to serve, detached from any outcome or receiving money from those interactions.
Of course it did provide, but it didn’t come all at once. It didn’t come quickly, but over time as I shifted and changed myself from the inside out, the external results showed up.
For that is what this journey is really about— our INNER journey. Our inner experience towards creating what we want, and the external results is simply the by-product of doing the internal work. The internal shifts produce the external changes.
Back to my story, so I have set all of these amazing goals for myself and have been working diligently creating them and going after them for so many years. I have invested thousands and thousands of dollars into training programs, coaches, into my own personal development over the years to transform into the woman I wanted to become.
Last year in 2016 is when finally the result of all of my transformative work really MANIFESTED in a very POWERFUL way.
I got EVERYTHING that I wanted.
I CREATED it.
EVERYTHING I had been setting intentions around— soulmate clients, a powerful abundant business model, FINALLY taking the leap and moving to California by the beach, stepping up my health and fitness goals, being able to travel and invest in world-class trainings, attracting the amazing partner and relationship I was desiring, my happy family life with their dad involved in my children’s lives again, the community and connections with like-minded conscious entrepreneurs, the 6 figure lifestyle business.
I. got. it. all.
Holy shit, I am so fucking grateful for that!!! It blows my mind the POWER of perseverance, of intention and goal-setting and one pointed focus on what we want.
I proved to myself YET AGAIN that we can create and have ANYTHING we want in our lives.
When I recovered from my eating disorder I thought, “OMG…if I can do THIS, I can do ANYTHING.”
And I have.
Most things I put my mind to — I do. I create. I become.
I am a powerful manifestor. There is great power is utilizing the Universal powers to creating and attracting what we want in our lives.
But here’s the kicker— I created all of these things and I realized that I got everything I have ever wanted that I had been setting goals around for the first 31 years of my life.
I was a “success” in my own personal definition of the word, yet I didn’t FEEL it.
I realized that phase of my life was OVER… BUT I had NO CLUE what was to come next.
Moving to California last year— upleveling my life in this way REALLY threw me for a loop. Everything I had been working for in my life was to allow me to move back here, to provide an amazing life for my children, and to have the lifestyle, health, fitness, relationships and community that I really wanted.
I thought that it would make me HAPPY.
When in actuality, it didn’t.
I was working so hard to create this DREAM life for myself and my family, and at some point the pressure of it all felt too much. I moved here and thought that it would be some kind of magic pill, and everything would suddenly work out.
And it didn’t.
I was MORE stressed, MORE overworked, and I felt like I just wanted to GIVE UP.
I felt alone in what I was going through, I wasn’t “supposed” to feel this way because of how far I’ve come and now I was judging myself for feeling lost, for feeling confused as to what I wanted in my life.
At that time, I was focused more on the external results rather than the internal results I wanted.
I hit a low point at the end of last year and early this year in 2017. I kept thinking to myself “what’s next?” I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I felt lost, confused and everything that has happened over the past 6 years came rushing back to me.
I began experiencing so much grief, loss, pain and confusion. ALL of the emotional baggage from the past 6 years began to come up to be processed through.
I was grieving the loss of my former self.
I couldn’t go back. I either had to go through my shit or make a decision to stay stuck. I was being called to more– but before I could do that I really had to go within.
My SOUL needed to be STRIPPED BARE, RAW, OPEN and VULNERABLE in order to be ready to RECEIVE the next GREATEST VISION for my life. But I couldn’t do that without having a major BREAKDOWN before the BREAKTHROUGH.
I haven’t experienced the depths of the pain and suffering like this since I recovered from my eating disorder.
On top of feeling all of these emotions, I also was judging myself for actually going through this again! As if it wasn’t bad enough (lol), I was feeling annoyed and mad at myself for feeling the pain, the grief, the sadness, the loss of my old life and former self.
We ALL go through this.
In modern society we tend to think this is a “bad” thing. That we shouldn’t feel this way. That we need to medicate and hide it and be ashamed for feeling this way.
When in fact it is something to be CELEBRATED and EMBRACED as a CRUCIAL part of our journey, the HERO’S journey, our journey of GROWTH along the path.
In our personal evolution this is typically known as a dark night of the soul. We begin to question our own existence, the purpose of life and what we are here for. This was one of those times for me.
It was amazing though to go through such a transformative growth process with such awareness and consciousness of what was actually happening.
It was really quite powerful to go through it totally unattached to it— to FEEL it, to go INTO it, to know that something AMAZING was about to happen as a result— that I just need to go THROUGH it to come out the other side.
Going through all of this has taught me many valuable lessons, and I am so grateful to finally be on the other side of it. I had a Divine Download come through me at the end of 2016 with a message sharing that the last cycle of growth that I had been on, this phase of my evolution had come to a completion.
It was now time for me to say GOODBYE to my old self and move on to a GREATER, HIGHER, more POWERFUL version of myself.
I have to say, I resisted this for a while before truly stepping out and releasing my new self to the world!!
I am sure you have seen some of my new branding, new videos, photos and articles recently released!! I had been putting it off, denying myself expression in a public space and instead privately going through the emotional processing that I needed to do on myself in order to evolve and step up to the next greatest version of myself.
I am so utterly grateful for ALL that has happened.
My life has completely transformed AGAIN. THIS is what makes me happy. I am happy. I am grateful. I am fulfilled. I FUCKING LOVE MY LIFE SOOOO MUCH AND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!
For the first time in a long time, I feel like I am finally ready to BECOME and EMBODY the woman I am meant to become (at least this version right now, hehe!!)
What that is you might ask? You will find out SOON— more to come on what’s next in my journey and what I’m ready to UNLEASH into the world, so stay tuned!!
What I WILL share is that I am now committed to showing up. I have been selfish in not sharing my message. I have not been valuing my contribution, and have been judging what I have to offer the world. I am no longer going to hold myself back — I HAVE SO MUCH TO SHARE.
I AM READY TO UNLEASH my creative power into the world— are you ready, beautiful soul??
I have never before felt so ALIVE, so LIT UP and so EXCITED around what I am creating!!!
I am stepping up into becoming the leader I know I was born to be, and I am committed to showing up and serving you in the best way I can. This is my destiny and my purpose and what makes me feel MOST ALIVE.
I want you to know that I will be sharing MUCH more with you.
I am REALLY ONLY HERE to serve my SOULMATE clients who GET IT, my SOULMATE TRIBE of BEAUTIFUL SOULS, RECOVERY WARRIORS and LIGHTWORKERS who are ready to STEP UP, BREAK FREE AND CREATE A LIFE YOU LOVE!!!
Those who are READY to HEAR MY MESSAGE, as RAW, UNFILTERED and MESSY as it is!!!
I am pulling back the curtains and am going to share with you EVERYTHING I KNOW— EVERYTHING I’ve created, ALL my juicy secrets to FREEDOM, EMPOWERMENT, SUCCESS, FULFILLMENT, ABUNDANCE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS, SPIRITUALITY, INTUITION and CREATIVE EXPRESSION in the world. BECOMING a POWERFUL WOMAN, OWNING WHO YOU ARE and what the fuck you are really MEANT to do here in this world.
I’m ready to spill my guts and share all my juicy secrets— and it’s going to be WILD and unfiltered at times.
SERIOUSLY I CAN’T HOLD MYSELF BACK ANYMORE.
You might not be ready to hear it. And if you’re not it’s totally okay.
Come back when you’re ready to really step up and be a part of this amazing Sacred Healing Community of women who are sick and tired of living a soul-sucking life. Who are ready to really step up into their light, their power, their greatness and let go of all that is no longer serving them.
Today, I invite you to consider your own personal evolutionary journey and ask yourself, what are you resisting? Might you be going through something similar in your own life, in your own way, at the level you are playing at in your own life? What areas in your life are you ready to PLAY BIG? What are you ready to step into?
Life is not meant to be a struggle.
When I go through these times I am ALWAYS affirming to myself that it is for a reason.
That I have to challenge myself to stay with it— so that I can come out the other side— WISER, HAPPIER, STRONGER and MORE SELF-AWARE and CONSCIOUS than ever before.
You are no different.
Are you ready to PLAY BIG?
It’s time to STEP UP beautiful soul. GET READY!!!!
I am SO GRATEFUL for your presence here. Thank you for letting me share my path with you.
Thank you for being here and allowing me to guide you along this beautiful, wild and transformative journey.
I know it is not easy, but I promise IT IS WORTH IT.
If I can do it, SO CAN YOU.
Would love to have you hit “reply” and let me know your thoughts and feelings around what I shared!!!
Sending so much love and healing energy to you today and every day beautiful soul!!!
In light + love,
P.S. If you haven’t joined the Freedom Challenge 2.0 now is your opportunity to do so and join our Sacred Healing Community!! Click here to sign up now and join 1000+ beautiful souls on this transformative journey towards breaking FREE and creating a life you LOVE!!