You need to know that you can do this
That no one else is going to do this for you
We sometimes think that we are going to find recovery in an instant, or that all of a sudden we are going to be free and not have to worry about food and all those things that we struggled with instantly!!!
If that is your belief then you will always be searching for the “answer.”
The truth is, there is no magic formula.
There is no magic pill or piece of advice that I could give you that could make it all go away.
It just doesn’t work like that
The secret is, there is NO SECRET
There is not that one thing that is going to make all the difference for you
And it is dangerous for you to believe that something out there like that exists.
However on the other hand, recovery and getting to full recovery isn’t rocket science.
It’s actually quite simple.
Are you ready?
I’m going to share with you the biggest principles that will help you to shift out of this mindset
Because the truth is, I lived this way for so long, thinking that if I just found the answer I would be cured
I spent years and years in therapy and treatment, studying hundreds of books and taking courses, absorbing everything like a sponge but also not being satisfied with what I was finding because it just wasn’t helping.
It wasn’t helping because I was still SEEKING
I was stuck in this mindset where I believe the ANSWER would come from somewhere outside of myself.
Mindset shift #1: ALL OF YOUR ANSWERS ARE WITHIN
You have everything you need to heal and recover within you.
You don’t need anyone outside of you to FIX you or change you.
You are NOT BROKEN. You are not in need of being FIXED.
Rather what you DO need to OWN is that you CAN figure this out.
All of the answers for what you need are inside.
And sure, you might need a coach like myself or a guide or a therapist to help you find and discover your own answers, but it is simply a process of going within and finding what works for YOU.
What satisfies and fulfills you on that deeper level?
Not doing those things in recovery because you “should” do them, or because someone else wanted you to do it, but doing it because you actually WANT TO.
Doing it because it FEELS GOOD on that deeper level to take care of yourself.
To learn how to LOVE yourself.
To learn how to become your own best friend.
To learn how to treat yourself well and talk to yourself with kindness and compassion.
These are NOT things you find outside of yourself.
These start by forging a connection with your deeper wiser inner self and strengthening that connection each and every day.
Everything you are seeking outside of you, is within you, now.
Mindset shift #2: Recovery is a process and a journey we go on, not a destination
Now don’t get me wrong on this one.
Recovery IS a journey. If you’ve been following me long enough, you know this is true.
That recovery is a process — a healing process — that does not happen overnight.
There are many layers to peel back. Like the layers of an onion, with each layer we remove there may be tears, there may be fears, but we know we must go through it in order to grow. In order to get one step closer to where we’re going.
And that’s the thing– is that we also HAVE to know what the outcome is, what the destination is in order to get there.
But we must give up the desire to WAIT until it’s here — or WAIT to be happy until we are where we wanna be.
We have to see the experiences along our path as lessons we must learn.
And at some point along the journey, you DO get to a place where you realize you are FULLY RECOVERED. You are FREE
But you also realize that there will ALWAYS be work to be done on yourself.
That is what mean by saying that it is a journey and a process and also a destination along the path.
Yes we do get to our destination of full recovery– but when we get to that point then the dream simply EXPANDS.
There will always be more to grow into.
There will always be more to learn.
But you must begin to recognize and see the blessings along your path NOW
Or else you won’t get to the destination.
I know, it seems backwards.
We must learn how to praise and love and forgive ourselves along this crazy wild journey and appreciate the NOW to ever get where we are going.
Be okay with and accept where you are now
And be eager and excited for what’s to come 🙂
Mindset shift #3: Do the work and let go of the outcome
We tend to think that we do not need to put in effort to change!
That omg if I wish something to happen, and I desire it bad enough, that it will suddenly come to.
Nothing will ever happen if you don’t DO THE WORK to get there
Recovery is work.
Hard fucking work.
Soul challenging work.
I remember when I didn’t want to do the work, and I expected things to change.
Honestly that is the definition of insanity!!
If we are ever to get a different outcome, we must take different actions.
We also have to do the work that really matters.
We have to do the work to heal physically.
To learn how to become an intuitive eater. To learn how to get to and maintain our set point weight range. To learn how to love and accept and trust your body.
We have to do the work to heal emotionally and mentally. To heal everything within you that is holding you back. To learn new patterns of thought. To release your old ED operating system.To go through every fear you have. To heal your old emotional wounds, to release your baggage, to learn to love yourself and forgive yourself. To accept yourself and your life and where you are at right now.
We also have to do the spiritual healing work. We have to learn how to trust, how to have faith and how to let of of our anxieties and fears around life. Around food. Around our bodies.
None of these things happens by accident.
All of these things require work.
But here is the good news, and is our last and final mind shift of the day:
Mindset shift #4: All that is required to do this deeper healing work is to simply LEARN NEW SKILLS.
Like I said, recovery isn’t rocket science.
Once you learn the principles of these new skills, it’s simply of matter of PRACTICING THEM, over and over and over again.
Intuitive eating is a skill.
Loving and accepting your body is a skill.
Being your own best friend is a skill.
Learning how to feel your feelings is a skill.
Loving yourself is a skill.
Healing and releasing past emotional baggage, traumas, hurts and wounds is a skill.
Transforming your mental patterns and releasing limiting beliefs is a skill.
Learning how to trust is a skill.
Learning how to have faith and go through your fears, also a skill.
Recovery is simply a PROCESS OF LEARNING NEW SKILLS.
Just like riding a bike, when you first learned I bet you fell down a lot.
I bet you got scraped up or bruised.
But you didn’t give up!!
You got right back up again and kept trying.
And trying and trying and trying until you finally GOT IT.
You didn’t know that you were going to ride on your own that day.
You just took action to practice it over and over again until one day, that skill became ingrained in your consciousness and just became something you DO. Part of who you ARE
And this brings us to the second part of the previous mindset shift which is to LET GO OF THE OUTCOME.
You must learn to take action to practice these skills and let go of the outcome of them.
Trusting that over time you become better and better at them.
Until one day you realize, HOLY SHIT I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS NOW!!!
I am really really good at this!!!
In the beginning, you will NOT be.
Accept that you have to start at the beginning.
You are like a child who is learning to walk.
Allow yourself to be easy on yourself in this process.
Knowing that you will get there, if only you take action to learn these new skills and let go of the outcome.
You WILL get to full recovery and freedom if only you follow these guidelines!!!
It’s not a matter of IF, it’s a matter of WHEN.
So apply these principles and concepts daily and see where they take you.
Decide what you want.
Go after it with your whole heart.
Tap into your inner wisdom and guidance for all of the answers you need rather than seeking it outside of you.
You are the only one that knows YOU best.
Know where you’re going and see this as a journey and a process, enjoy the ride but let go of the outcome.
Do the work you need to do to get there.
And also… Mindset shift #5: BELIEVE THAT ITS POSSIBLE!!!
Full recovery is available to ANYONE who believes it is possible, does the work and develops the skills to get there.
That is the secret.
The secret is there is no secret except to NEVER EVER GIVE UP!!!
I am no different or more special and if I can do this, YOU CAN TOO.
I believe in you, beautiful soul!!!
I am so grateful and honored to guide you along this journey, beautiful soul.
You are amazing!!!!
In light + love,
LAUREN LOVE 💛🌴