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How much do you resonate and relate to this? Does this describe YOU?
You are extremely driven, perfectionistic and expect the very best from yourself. You have been very successful in your life, or could have been had it not been for the eating disorder, addictions and dysfunctional behaviors that block you from your true potential, or hold you back from doing what you truly want and desire in your life.
You are a deeply emotional and intuitive being and feel things very strongly, however at some point in your life you realized that it was not okay to feel what you felt, or be who you were. You never learned how to feel negative feelings and were never taught how to feel good about yourself or have self-esteem. If you are like me, you grew to hate and despise yourself over years of abandoning yourself.
But we didn’t consciously abandon our true selves and true feelings, it was a way of being that grew out of the desire to fit in, to be accepted and to please others. You created an external identity that was based off of becoming what everyone else in your life wanted you to be, or who you thought you “should” be and you thrived and lived off of this people-pleasing and approval seeking behavior.
But in living this way, a great void opens up inside of us that seems to never be filled. No matter what you do— whether it is use the food, alcohol, drugs, sex, relationships, etc— nothing fills that void inside. You have been trying to fill this void in your life for as long as you can remember and have always felt like you are different in some way or have thought to yourself, “Why can’t I just be normal?!”
Somewhere in your life, food/body/weight became a way to deal with/cope with/manage or totally distract and numb yourself from whatever in your life felt out of control, chaotic, messy, fearful or caused stress/anxiety at the time.
For many, it was emotionally, physically or sexually abusive situations, traumas, or chaotic and dysfunctional environments growing up in childhood or adolescence. Some encountered abusive or controlling relationships. We watched– and learned– as our own mothers and fathers struggled with their own battles with food, weight, alcohol, drugs, depression, anxiety, low-self esteem and modeled dysfunctional relationship patterns.
For many more, the damage is less subtle as I’ve heard so many times, “I had a pretty good childhood, nothing really damaging happened, so why am I still like this?” It doesn’t matter how you grew up— I’ve worked with hundreds of women and men all over the world and it doesn’t matter what race, age, country of origin, or even socioeconomic class you’re in-— the only thing that really truly matters is what’s underneath it all, which is what are all share in common— the negative perceptions we have about ourselves.
At the core of it, we all share the same deep-rooted limiting thoughts, beliefs and feelings that underlie the eating disorder.
We ALL share the common belief that we don’t feel good enough. We don’t believe or feel we are worthy or deserving. We don’t love ourselves, let alone like ourselves.
We feel that deep down inside we are broken, lost and alone, or there is something wrong with us that needs to be “fixed.” That no one understands us, yet we crave deep heartfelt connection with others but are terrified of truly opening up and being hurt.
We are hurting as we feel deeply wounded and misunderstood. We feel an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame. Deep down, we feel sad and angry, and sometimes we even feel that we are bad or wrong for feeling this way.
In the midst of all of this inner turmoil and chaos, the eating disorder can creep in and take hold of our souls.
For me, I always struggled with feeling insecure about myself, my body and weight, and there was a point where I was feeling so bad about myself that the eating disorder literally presented itself as “the answer!” “If I could only lose weight, then everything would be perfect. I would be liked, be accepted and fit in. I would have the perfect life because I would like myself and then, most of all, I would be happy.”
In the beginning it may feel like we are “in control” of it, but there comes a point when you try to stop and you realize you can’t. You are out of control and you don’t know how to change it, yet it is the very thing that also keeps us feeling like we are in control. So we keep engaging in it because we don’t know how to be any other way. We get stuck in the vicious cycle and feel trapped, like we will never escape.
Over time, the eating disorder becomes who we are, deeply imbedded in our identity. One of our deepest common-held fears in letting it go, is, “Who will I be without it?”
It doesn't really matter how the eating disorder behaviors manifest— they all stem from essentially very similar core issues with how we feel and believe about ourselves. We all have this very painful disconnection from who we really are, our true authentic selves.
On the outside, it might look like restricting your food, having rigid food rules, labeling your food, bingeing, overeating, purging by vomiting, laxatives or overexercising, yo-yo dieting and trying all the latest diet fads, compulsive overeating, chewing and spitting, or actually being diagnosed with bulimia, anorexia, binge eating, EDNOS, orthorexia, or a combination of most or all of this restrictive and/or binging behavior with food.
You might restrict your food, thinking, “I shouldn’t eat this,” or “I need to lose weight,” or “I am fat and disgusting” or “I am bad, I feel ashamed and guilty” because you ate a food that you weren’t “allowed” to have or you ate “too much.” Most of all, you allow the food and weight to determine your self worth and how you feel about yourself on a daily basis. If you “did good” then you feel good. If you “did bad” then you feel bad. These feelings spill over and affect many other areas of your life in negative ways and feel crippling. You find yourself unable to show up and be present at social events, in relationships, or even with your friends or kids. You find it affects your work performance, your ability to connect with others, and so on.
You go through cycles of endlessly searching for the “answer,” some kind of approach or eating plan that will “cure” you, because if you just “get the food figured out” then everything will be perfect and okay.
Sometimes you feel like food is the enemy and you wish you didn’t have to eat ever again so that you didn’t have to deal with this chaos inside of your relationship with food. Sometimes, though it is your best friend and you love being comforted and numbing yourself out with the food. After all, food is the only thing that has ever been there for you and provides a temporary high that you haven’t been able to get anywhere else.
You feel like there is a battle going on inside of your mind, because one part of you secretly craves and loves the eating disorder, but another part of you doesn't want to engage in it at all, and feels it is wrong or out of alignment with who you truly are.
You also have experienced going in and out of treatment many times, or have been seeking help for many years— 5, 10, 20, even 30 years or more, but NOTHING has worked. Even as you have made so much progress, and come SO FAR from where you used to be, there is still that feeling of unrest, of extreme anxiety and fear that creeps in and the only thing that temporarily relieves it is when you use the eating disorder. And so you hold on to it because it is safe, it is comfortable, and it feels what is natural and normal to you because you’ve had it for so long.
But there comes a time in your life when you realize that you know in your heart that you can have more. You have a deep desire to overcome this monster that has lived inside of you for most of your life, and there is a part of you— however small— there is still a part that speaks and knows that you are MEANT to overcome this. That you can break free from it. That it is a part of your path to figure out how to move past it so that you can truly live a life that you can only imagine. A life of freedom and joy and without limits, without the eating disorder holding you back.
You feel there is a deeper purpose to your life, and the eating disorder is largely blocking you from exploring what that is. There is a reason you are here and you have such a strong desire to know what that is!! There is a bigger reason WHY you are on this planet and you know that it is NOT meant to struggle and battle this damn eating disorder any longer!!
You are meant to overcome and you KNOW THIS with every cell of your body, deep within your heart, you KNOW that you are meant to OVERCOME, BREAK FREE, and FULLY RECOVER from your eating disorder!!
You KNOW that it is totally possible for you… HOW to do it, you wonder, is your only stumbling block. You have searched and searched and have not found what you were looking for. You are skeptical if there even is a different way, a new way of being that looks totally different from what you are doing right now, and you wonder if it’s even possible for you. Maybe that other person could do it, but could I? Could I really break free? What would it be like if I were to truly go after it with all my heart? What if I failed?
Oh, my dear but what if you succeeded??? What if you truly discovered what was waiting inside of you all along— all of the love, wisdom, joy, freedom, and power— it is all within your reach. But none of that matters, because all you really want is what we all want and seek for as human beings— to be happy.
The reason we do all of this is to live in joy and happiness and learn to love ourselves unconditionally, exactly as we are. To recognize and own the truth that you are ENOUGH, that you are WORTHY and DESERVING, and TRULY, you have NOTHING to be ashamed of or feel guilty for.
That is all part of the journey of course, because if it were EASY, then EVERYONE would do it.
This is a wild journey of learning how to access the deepest parts of yourself, to heal your deepest wounds, and to reveal your deepest truths.
It is a journey to peel back all the layers that you have accumulated over the years of being on this planet, to reveal the innate goodness, beauty and love that is deep inside of you.
Of course you don’t know this yet— but that is also a part of the discovering. Allowing ourselves to truly dream, and dream BIG— and go after it in full faith and trust, knowing that we can handle whatever obstacles and roadblocks come up along the way.
Of course we can’t go at this journey alone, which is why you need a guide to show you the way, someone who has already walked the path, and who can light the way for you.
Someone who can hold your hand and help you discover your own path along the journey.
Someone who has been where you have been and truly understands and gets what you are going through right now.
Someone who is no better than you, but whom through experience has gained much wisdom and knowledge about this new way and who eagerly and generously gives of herself to help you find your own way, to discover what works and what genuinely feels good to you, on a deeper soul level.
This is not a journey for the faint of heart— for it will challenge you to the core and bring your deepest fears to the surface!
It is definitely scary but I promise you it is worth it.
After you go through it you look back and realize, WOW it wasn’t as scary as I thought it was at the time.
Even in the face of difficulties, triggers, and relapse upon relapse, you suddenly feel compassion for yourself and step out of the guilt and shame cycle.
You turn your face back towards the sunshine and keep moving forward, feeling confident that you are learning the lessons and using the tools it takes to rise above and begin to choose love, rather than react out of old fear-based patterns.
You embrace the journey and stop trying to do everything perfectly.
Each and every day you traverse this wild and wonderful journey back to self, a grand learning opportunity to learn how to radically love yourself unconditionally, how to express yourself authentically, and take back your power!
Even in the face of set-backs and disappointments, you learn to accept yourself exactly as you are.
You learn about yourself in a way that allows you to be guided from within, empowering you to rise above old patterns and programming that held you back and kept you stuck.
You suddenly realize that you have become everything you have wanted to be as the process unfolds beautifully around you, you begin to feel a sense of real gratitude and appreciation for who you are.
That everything you have been through that has been difficult, scary and challenging has all served as great lessons for you to be able to grow, learn and evolve.
You have an overflowing sense of love for yourself that you’ve never even comprehended before and you find with this feeling a deeper sense of peace, wellbeing, contentedness and joy.
You have found your way. Through this experience, you realize that If I can recover from my eating disorder, then I can do ANYTHING!
You are a limitless being, and you realize that this is only the beginning of an even greater journey that all began with the great gift of learning to live without your eating disorder.
I only work with women who are highly motivated and are ready to let go of the eating disorder for good. You must be at the place where you feel ready, willing to change and do whatever it takes. You have a clear understanding and awareness of your eating disorder patterns and ideally you have been in recovery for quite some time, yet you have hit a block and don’t know HOW to take that LEAP to the next level. You are ready to transform, to allow yourself to grow and evolve, even if you are scared and don’t know what’s going to happen. You want to create a life of freedom, joy, happiness, self-expression, radical self-love and step into the highest vision for your life and your recovery that you’ve only dreamed of. You also must be willing to step up and commit to investing in yourself at a high level– financially, emotionally and energetically.
I will show you and teach you how to access your internal guidance, learn to trust yourself, and how to heal every aspect of your eating disorder:
Physical— the practical and foundational knowledge and new mindset of healing your relationship with food and becoming tuned into your body’s hunger and full cues, understanding what to eat, when to eat, and how to eat, as you move forward towards intuitive eating, as well as healing your relationship with your body and exercise
Emotional— healing your emotional side, learning how to feel your feelings, moving through fear/anxiety and emotional triggers, healing from traumas, becoming your own best friend and learning to love yourself
Mental— transforming your “ED programming”, your mental thought patterns and belief system, what you believe about yourself and the world, separating yourself from the identity of the eating disorder
Spiritual— connecting with your true self, tapping into your intuition, learning how to trust yourself, having faith and believing in yourself, learning to go with the flow, moving through fear and anxiety
Above all, my underlying philosophy is that we approach EVERYTHING in recovery coming from a place of LOVE for yourself, and we embark on a personalized and unique quest to find what WORKS FOR YOU, and also what FEELS GOOD. Otherwise, what would be the point?!?
You also have to be willing to show up every day for yourself and be open to what the process brings. You have a great desire to give back and help others but you realize you have to learn how to love and accept yourself unconditionally first. You desire to express yourself without fear of being judged or criticized and really just want to become who you really are underneath it all.
This is the beginning of a beautiful journey for you. You are so worthy and deserving of giving this great gift to yourself. I hope to see you on the other side!!
To your brightest, most radiant, and truest authentic self,
Application Process: Once you submit your application, Lauren will review it and if she determines that you may be a good fit for the program she will give you a call to set up a Freedom Chat together. The Freedom Chat is a 1 to 1.5 hour introductory coaching call that allows Lauren to provide you with a deep and powerful coaching experience. She works with you wherever you are at to help you get unstuck and moving forward towards your goals quickly. If during this session you both feel it would be a good fit to work together, and you meet the criteria for the program, only then will Lauren extend an invitation into this program. There are only a few spots open for this exclusive program. It is not for everyone, but everyone is encouraged to apply. You will know at the end of the Freedom Chat if this work is truly for you or not.
Empowerment Program Details6-Month Private Coaching
- 24 Weekly Sessions over 6 Months
- Designed to Empower You to Gain Freedom + Full Recovery
- Dive Deep into Your Healing Process
- Customized Approach Specific to Your Needs Along the Journey
- Unlimited Email + Text Support
- Healing Your Eating Disorder Ecourse Materials Included