Eating Disorder Poems

In the throes of the eating disorder madness and depression, and especially when I began my recovery for bulimia, I wrote a lot.  Journaling, writing eating disorder poems and free writing was a way for me to express myself.

Here are some selected eating disorder poems for you to enjoy.  These eating disorder poems don’t all necessarily talk about the eating disorder behaviors themselves, but they reflect something deeper, more meaningful.  As you probably know, the eating disorder itself is not about food.

Food and the eating disorder behaviors are only an outer symptom of an inner problem.  So even though I’m not necessarily writing about the binge and purge or about losing weight – I’m calling these eating disorder poems because they helped me understand myself better and helped me deal with everything that was coming up in my recovery for bulimia, anorexia, depression and anxiety.

 

August 20, 2007

reaching for stars

Above this

penniless existence
Reaching above
for
Anything.  Nothing.

Glittering E X P L O S I O N S
surrounding me
b
alls of fire
burst

Falling
D
O
W
N…            evaporating
into space,
time,
escapes me as I
sit entrapped,
encased within this

shell
I’m living

darkness evades my
HEAVY soul

lifted up
Reaching for stars…
fly,         fly,
this needs
love,
love, love

Reaching for stars
dusky fireflies
and
dreams
of
everything
b R o k E n
succumbed to

the heart of it
all..

Reaching, reaching for stars….

 

 

August 21, 2007

threads of love
entwine my soul

wrapping me up
as I

peel back

     layers

of my lust,
the greed,
the hunger,

dissatisfaction,

minute details
of                an unfathomable

realm
in mind

of time
this world

my heart

breaks for the next
V         M
I       I
C  T

I burn caskets
buried
yelling

hearing the scratches
from the inside

6 feet deep
with no
gravedigger

trapped.

the way out

not up
but within
the layers…

unleash
no fury

unguard
the senses
let go to a world of
tolerance…

forgive.

‘the twine
never breaks
growing
tighter,
braided.

Reality shielded.
unalarmed.
Beauty and Peace.

 

I love these two eating disorder poems.  They were written years ago but I still love their beauty, the honesty of exactly what I felt then.

 

September 12, 2007

this b lank canvas
gives way to
my swollen emotions, dreams
inside of me pours out to
this blank page as i comprehend
the day, this hour, this moment
is beautiful
how to put to words
the gratefulness
classic emotions seemingly so dull
in thought yet  mean
so much in reality
you cant even say it.

 

Now this next eating disorder poem is actually about the eating disorder itself.  Painful, blaringly honest and it shows the true nature of what its really like when in the throes of such a negative space…

 

September 14, 2007

she sits with me
through thick and thin
constantly screaming, taunting, conniving
killing me to become

her lips bathe the words
so longing to hear
her words soothe the soul
manipulating my being

hideous beauty shrouded in gloom
pushing pulling fighting
giving in, im giving in
CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

 

The eating disorder itself, at the time, felt like it was a part of me, yet a part that I could not control.  It was a demanding, negative, horrifying entity that would take over and it felt as if there were no escape.  This eating disorder poem reveals that pain, that torture that we go through inside when suffering with the eating disorder symptoms, behaviors, and thoughts.

Hopefully you can relate to what I was going through…let me know what you think!

🙂

 

Peace, Love + Freedom,