Enjoy this recently written poem.  Sometimes I forget how awful it was being back in the eating disorder.

It controlled me – I was a slave to it at my worst, and most people don’t understand what that’s like.

This poem especially illustrates how difficult it is to want to change, only to have to work for and wait for the things we want, even when we know they are on the way…

My world once
was cold and lonely

Alone was
a way of life

And my teardrops
were consoled by
sweet release

Bowed down to
my death

Every time I died
a little more

Went away from
all I had known
in my
innocence

Fault was not
mine yet could not
escape this hell

Who was that person?
a shell
of nothing

But misery
taken over
by success

They didn’t know why
it felt so
good.

Refuge in a box
flushed down
stuffed inside

For none to see
in plain sight

Did you not see
the walking dead?

Life spared
by an angel’s kiss
and a twist of fate

Lovers love
overpowers
it all

With one instant
my dreams
realized

Only to take a while.

As I sit and wait

Oh so impatiently.

Peace + Love,