Allowing is the key that lets it all happen.

When we open up and allow, it opens the doors for wonderful and *magical* things to come into our lives!

It is my nature to want to be perfect.  It seems I’m always striving for perfection no matter what I’m doing.  I want to be the best at all I do.

I strive to be a perfect wife.  A perfect mother.  A perfect writer, blogger, yogi, friend, sister, daughter.  A perfect housekeeper and cook.  A perfect playmate, teacher and role model to my kids.  A perfect spiritual being filled with light and love.  I want to be perfectly organized and have everything all together all the time.  Yeah right!

In the past I wanted to be perfect at the eating disorder.  Then there came a point in my bulimia recovery when I wanted to be perfect at my eating disorder recovery.  For me it really was a decision I made for myself for we all get to choose whether or not we really want to recover from bulimia or anorexia or binge eating or ednos.

I wanted to be the best in all things relating to recovery for bulimia and anorexia.  Which was awesome and helped me get to where I wanted to be pretty quickly.  But with that striving comes lack sometimes.  No matter how hard I’m striving I’ll never be all that I expect myself to be.  Many women in recovery from eating disorders feel as if they want more, that they are not enough as they are.

So what does perfection have to do with allowing in eating disorder recovery?

When we are striving to be the best or “perfect” we are not allowing ourselves to be okay with where we are.  When we are focused on being “perfect” we are not allowing ourselves to be content with the present moment.  When we are not allowing ourselves to be content in the moment we look towards the eating disorder behaviors to distract ourselves, cope, or even thinking that the behaviors will help us in some distorted way.

What is perfection anyhow for isn’t being “perfect” a self-defined goal?  Or is perfection a limitation?  We create our own reality and “perfection” is really in the eyes of the beholder.

So how do we make the best of this seemingly double-edged sword and open the door to allowing?   On one hand my drive for perfection helps motivate me to continue on and pushes me to do more, be more, have more.  On the other hand, it can be disappointing when things don’t go as planned, or I don’t live up to my expectations or worse, I make a mistake.  Hah!  In the past I would have punished myself with the eating disorder behaviors for messing up and making a mistake.  I didn’t realize that making mistakes were a part of living, learning.  Now I make plenty of mistakes in my recovery for bulimia and in life!  And I definitely learn from them and it’s kind of fun messing things up along the way, but without the mistakes I wouldn’t learn the right way or what works best for me in my particular situation or in life.

I’ve found that allowing is the key to balance in recovery from eating disorders.

Allowing myself to strive to be my best but also allowing myself to make mistakes.

Allowing myself to be okay exactly where I am right now.

Allowing the *magic* to manifest itself without trying to control or change it.

Allowing life to unfold in all its *perfection*.

You see, if we are not in a state of allowing the present moment to simply be then we are in a state of resistance.  It is okay to want to do more, have more, and be more, but we have to be content in the moment or we will never be happy in our recovery from eating disorders.

Allowing yourself to simply accept that you might always want to strive for more and reach your goals but the key is allowing ourselves to be in the present moment without wanting to change or control it.

Using the eating disorder behaviors – the binge and purge, bingeing, compulsively overeating or restricting food intake – these are all eating disorder behaviors that we use when we are not allowing ourselves to be.  The eating disorder itself is resistance when you are not allowing yourself to be okay with right where you are.  You might think, I’ll be happy when I lose weight, or I’ll feel better after I eat this or after I purge that, but in reality, these are all thinking and behaviors that are not allowing yourself to be okay right now and not allowing yourself to be in the moment.

So the key is balancing yourself and your expectations in your eating disorder recovery – where you want to be with where you are right now.

Allowing yourself to be eager for what is coming but also being content with your recovery from eating disorders progress and where you are right now.

Allowing is something that we, as women in recovery for bulimia or anorexia or binge eating or ednos, we actually have to consciously allow things to happen.  It seems our state of not-allowing has allowed the eating disorder to develop.  How ironic!

Consciously choosing the allowing.  Choose to allow yourself to eat everything on your meal plan.

Choose to allow yourself to be okay without using the eating disorder behaviors.

Choose to allow yourself to feel your feelings.

Allow yourself to just be you and allow yourself to be in the moment.

Here’s a simple eating disorder recovery exercise you can do:

When you allow yourself to simply be you will realize that things will come easier to you in your eating disorder recovery and you can better flow with life.

When you are allowing yourself you are not punishing or criticizing yourself because you realize your perfection depends on your allowing the present moment to be.

There is no “perfect” and when you allow yourself to simply be okay with where you are in your eating disorder recovery, no matter what, your whole life will change. 🙂

What can you allow yourself to do today?

Peace, Love + Freedom,