Do you ever feel like you have a dream SO BIG that you have NO IDEA if you can create it or not?
Do you ever feel like you have so much potential within you, it almost feels overwhelming?
There’s so much you want to DO, so much you want to BE, so much you want to HAVE in your life. You’ve got big dreams and goals for your life!!
You just want to UNLEASH who you are to the world… but there’s something inside of you holding you back.
Your eating disorder, addictions, self limiting patterns, your limiting beliefs, your environment, circumstances, the way it currently is — is all holding you back from achieving and becoming ALL that you KNOW you CAN BE.
“IF ONLY I could let go of the eating disorder, THEN maybe I could actually create the life of my dreams.”
You hold yourself back and tell yourself over and over again that TOMORROW you’ll change. When X happens, when Y happens, THEN I’ll be ready.
When I have the perfect body. When I have the perfect relationship. When food and eating is easy. When I have the perfect job. The perfect home. THEN I’ll change. THEN I’ll be healed and recovered.
But that day never comes.
Every day feels the same. You wake up with hopes and dreams that today is going to be different!! And sometimes it is. But eventually, whether it is that same day, or as time passes… you fall back into the limiting patterns.
You’re restricting, binging, purging, overexercising, numbing yourself out from life.
Numbing everything that you feel.
Comforting yourself with the food, with the restriction or binging of food. Working out so fucking hard as a punishment killing yourself, beating yourself with every fucking step you take.
Counting every fucking calorie, obsessing and analyzing over every fucking morsel you put into your body, labeling everything as “good” or “bad”, that’s what I “should” eat, that’s what I “should” or “shouldn’t” do, following everyone else’s plan for here’s how it SHOULD be and when you can’t fucking live up to the highest ideals and standards you have for yourself…
So you CRASH…you find yourself saying “FUCK IT… what does it matter ANYWAYS?” “If I just restrict this one meal… binge this one time… eat what I “want”, it will be “FINE”and then inevitably you “fuck it all up”… and fall back into the old patterns even more hardcore then before.. binging and purging and restricting and punishing yourself, rebelling against everything you “should” be doing, right?
But it “feels” good in the moment, doesn’t it?
Or maybe you’re just holding on to the control and not allowing yourself to even indulge in food at all, because you feel you deserve to struggle, you enjoy the feeling of emptiness, of starving away all feelings and emotions and stress and it gives you the “high” of feeling like you’ve accomplished something.
You might even get a fucked up sense of pride, for feeling like you are “better” than other people, look at you, you’ve got so much self control that you can deprive yourself of food and nourishment, just withering away as your energy drops, you start getting depressed and anxious..
Isolation is the best way to not let anyone see what is happening to you… it also starts to be the best option to lie and sneak around while at the same time people are saying “WOW!! You look GREAT, have you lost weight, OMG!!”
And inside it feels like a gut punch, silently whispering to yourself, “YES I’M FUCKING KILLING MYSELF, SUFFERING and STRUGGLING CAN’T YOU SEE!??!” while at the same time putting on a fake smile and taking the compliment gritting your teeth because THAT “feels good”… at least temporarily on the surface, to gain that approval and acceptance from others.
As long as you LOOK okay on the outside, right?
But inside you feel like you are slowly dying, your soul withering away as you get further and further away from who you really are.
Wearing a mask, the shell of your former self. Being everything you think other people want you to be and in that process you’ve lost yourself.
You’ve lived this long you don’t even KNOW WHO YOU ARE and don’t know who you would BE without it.
You bury your dreams, your goals, and give up on that possibility that it could ever be any DIFFERENT. The ED is what is blocking you from fulfilling your highest potential in this life.
You’ve tried SO many times to change. Every fucking time you start to make major changes you think, “It’s TOO SCARY, it’s TOO HARD!!”
“Besides, I don’t know if its even fucking POSSIBLE!!!”
Right? How many times have these patterns and cycles played out in your life?
I can completely relate… I know EXACTLY what you’re going through because I fucking LIVED IT for SO MANY YEARS of my life. I held myself back.
I succumbed to the eating disorder voices.
I played this cycle out over and over again, hating myself, beating myself up because underneath it all, I DIDN’T FEEL GOOD ENOUGH.
I was trying to gain acceptance and approval and love from others.
I desperately wanted to FEEL GOOD ENOUGH.
I wanted to feel like I BELONGED.
I didn’t want to feel lost, broken and alone anymore.
I wanted to be FREE!
I wanted to be ME!!
AND I had NO idea HOW to do that.
Every single time I would make some progress, something would happen where I would fall back into the old ED and addictive patterns.
I let it RULE me and CONTROL my every move because I didn’t feel like I was strong enough, I didn’t believe in myself and I really didn’t even know if it was possible.
I thought I needed it.
But eventually I got to a point where I started to get ANGRY. I started to get really fucking PISSED — not at myself, but rather, I got ANGRY at my situation.
WHY THE FUCK COULD I NOT CHANGE??? I even had an inpatient hospital director tell me I would NEVER change.
That I would DIE from this.
“FUCK THAT!!!” I said to myself. And I VOWED back then to FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT.
And I DID.
FINALLY!!!
I had to fucking fight HARD in the beginning.
I didn’t want to change. I didn’t want to let it go.
I was TERRIFED!!!
I never gave up.
7 years later here I am FULLY RECOVERED AND FREE and LIVING THE LIFE OF MY DREAMS!!
As soon as I realized I was recovered, I thought “I HAVE to share this with others!! Women need to KNOW HOW to do this!”
This is not rocket science. It is also not a magic pill.
It’s VERY SIMPLE.
I began teaching women this formula, my step by step process on how to break FREE from your ED back in 2011 and began to get MIRACULOUS results.
Women’s lives were changing before my eyes!! It was amazing to me that all I had to do was share this simple process and they were growing, learning, challenging themselves and most importantly— THEY OVERCAME.
They fully recovered.
And YOU can do this too!!!
I’m no different or more special. I’ve been where you’ve been. I know how hard it is to struggle, to be caught up in the eating disorder behaviors, thoughts and overwhelming feelings.
It’s not fucking easy.
But is IS possible.
And I’m here to show you exactly how.
All you have to do is follow the plan to get results.
You have big dreams, right?
You want to love yourself and discover who you are without the ED?
You want to have an amazing relationship with food and become an intuitive eater?
You want to learn to love and accept your body and treat it like the sacred temple that it is?
You want to pursue your PASSION, your PURPOSE and BECOME THE WOMAN YOU ARE MEANT TO BECOME?
You want to BREAK FREE and LIFE A LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS??
YAYYYYY!!! YES, let’s do this together.
But first, you need to make a DECISION as to what you WANT.
Do you want to sit around continuing to let the ED rule and control your life?
Or are you READY to step up and make a CHOICE to break FREE?
YOU are the only one that can make that decision for yourself.
Freedom is within reach for ANYONE who wants it bad enough and commits to making it happen, no matter what.
And I’m here to show you HOW to do it.
You have to CHOOSE life. You have to CHOOSE recovery. And most importantly, you have to CHOOSE YOU.
Because you are SO important. You are SO worthy and deserving.
You DESERVE to give this great gift of recovery to yourself.
Your future self will thank you!!
And when that day comes when you wake up GRATEFUL… you wake up with a PEACE and JOY in your heart, knowing that you followed your gut, you followed your intuition and took the steps you needed to recover.
To heal. To overcome.
You arrive at a place where you are finally FREE!!
Freed from the ED burden, the overanalyzing, the insecurities, the deep seated fears, depression, low self esteem, anxieties and distrust of life.
You are no longer weighed down by the weight of the world, not stressed, not obsessed or worried about life or body or food…
Rather you now finally feel EMPOWERED, LOVING and JOYFUL.
You are CONFIDENT and KNOW WHO YOU ARE. There is lightness in your step.
You realize you are completely FREE and you start crying tears of joy because you didn’t even realize that you could feel this GOOD!!
You LOVE YOURSELF SO MUCH and you are finally HAPPY and that feels SO FUCKING GOOD on a deeper soul level.
There is fulfillment in deeper, richer things in life. You are using your energy in a way that serves you and the world as the Highest Version of yourself.
You no longer need a crutch.
You are who you are. And that is totally okay.
You accept yourself, you accept life.
You aren’t trying to fix it or change it in any way.
You KNOW that you are PERFECT exactly as you are.
And from this place you KNOW NOW that you can DO ANYTHING you put your mind, body and soul to!!!!
You begin to pursue your dreams and live a purpose driven life, one filled with everything you could ever dream of.
And it was all a result of making the CHOICE to do this work on yourself.
No, it will not be easy. You will fuck up.
You will fall down and you will want to quit.
BUT I promise you it is worth it.
I will be there every step of the way.
Won’t you join me?
Take your first step towards breaking FREE and creating a life you LOVE in The Recovery Soul Tribe– your #1 Step by Step Training and Sacred Healing Community for Women with Eating Disorders!!
Doors are now open for a limited time only, so get in now while you still can! Click here to join our tribe now—-> www.RecoverySoulTribe.com
Now’s the time to take the one step you need to take for yourself.
We need each other to find freedom.
You can’t do it alone.
Join the Recovery Soul Tribe today.
Commit to showing up. Commit to working on yourself. Commit to doing the deeper work so that you too can break free and create a life you love.
Join for YOU. Join to CONNECT, to HEAL, to TRANSFORM.
You have nothing to lose but the eating disorder!
Click here to join the Recovery Soul Tribe now!!—-> RecoverySoulTribe.com
THIS is the way towards FREEDOM.
Break Free and Create a Life You Love!
In light + love,
Lauren Love
P.S. I believe in YOU.
I wrote a post on Facebook to this entry, but I can’t stop thinking about those old feelings from 19-15 years ago when I struggled the most. When I was 18 I had my “awakening”. I’m blessed that I had it young. I was alone through my stages and honestly now understanding myself more from learning from and listening to Lauren, I understand myself and that I really did not hit the level of mastering my ED until about one and a half years ago. I keep thinking about and trying to dig up what sent me into an ED at all. I really just had my open discovery of the root cause today. I’ve always known what has hurt me, held me back, been my weaknesses, but never saw these things as a root cause.
I’ve been a victim of teenage girl bullying, I wanted to fit in, I wanted to be popular, I wanted to FEEL pretty, I wanted to have nice clothes, I wanted to have that cute high school boyfriend, I wanted…wanted…wanted! I didn’t know how to get it, so I slowly slid into the destruction of an ED. I love my mom. My mom is an awesome sweet lady who would do anything for anyone. She’s devout in her faith and devoted to family and friends. But on top of everything else when you are a psycho teenage girl, my mother is large. She’s always struggled with her weight always been down on herself, she is unfortunately medically considered morbidly obese. I hurt for her, because I now see her struggle on the other side. I resemble my mom in the face, but I have always been within my healthy weight range at least before and after the ED. I realize today that I have been in the practice stage from the age of 19 to the age of 31 to 32. I have been told my whole life “YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER!” When I was a teenager THAT WAS DEVASTATING!!! I grew up around constant dieting, the newest exercise, the fad shakes, etc, etc,etc. I didn’t know how to love myself because of what I heard, what I saw, what was ingrained into my mind! I didn’t want to hear how I looked just like my mom. I wanted to fit in, hide from turmoil at home and be me!!! After struggling, understanding what I was doing to myself and wanting out, I began to recover. I have a supportive, loving, caring husband. He has been my rock, my accountability partner, my #1fan!
I saw my mother a week ago and she told me to stop losing weight- baby weight from having twins- I was in shock!!!
I had to tell her finally for the first time in years for about a year now- I look in the mirror and LOVE what I see! I’ve been at a stable weight for about a year, healthy, eating what I want, when I want, being comfortable with myself in my own skin, knowing who I am, what I’m capable of, what I want, I look in the mirror and can say heck yeah I got this, look out world here I come!
I finally understand what my triggers were, when they started, how they affected me then, and the difference with how they affect me now! I ACCEPT ME FOR ME, I LOVE ME FOR ME!
Time, dedication, work, effort, pain, struggle, fear all of it is worth every single bit for the feeling, relationship, love I now have about, with, and for myself!!!